Becoming a single father was the best thing for my career.

First, if you aren’t familiar with me, you will know that I live the tagline “Fatherhood didn’t make me who I am; Fatherhood showed me who I am” as it’s a tagline that I created for my online mentorship brand “No Deadbeat Society”. Fatherhood and my journey into single fatherhood changed many aspects of my life, and almost all of them for the better.

But something I don’t often talk about is my career when I am in that space. NDBS is to advocate for men to feel comfortable with both masculinity and vulnerability. But outside of that world I am an entrepreneur and digital strategist who comes from very humble beginnings. I was a rapper (that’s right) for nearly a decade and ran my own successful independent hip hop label from 2000 to about 2009 and then after my son was born focused on my career in digital strategy, operations and marketing. I was unable to attend university or college right out of high school due to a lack of funds and a need to generate income, but I did develop a strong passion for education throughout the years and obtained my degree the long way.

I am now a 39 year old entrepreneur and digital strategist. I have managed digital strategy teams for large retailers, universities, marketing agencies and tech start ups (my passion is in higher education when it comes to a 9 to 5) and am involved in several companies myself. My own consulting company (Dieno Digital Marketing) started a side hustle freelancing company and now includes 5 part time staff and a partner who handles day to day operations while I spend evenings and weekends periodically leaning into the work I love most; Digital Strategy. I am a partner in Canada’s largest online Drone Training company (Coastal Drone), a partner in a Vinyl Wallpaper company (Otto Studio), a Paralegal Services company, and a few others in startup mode. I am not wealthy, I am not rich. My income supports myself, my hobbies, my passion to always be creating, and most importantly my son. But I am definitely not where I was 8 years ago when my son was 1 year old and my power was cut off for not paying the bill.

I was working for Western Canada’s largest grocery company as a Digital Marketing Specialist when I became a single father (and went through one of the toughest periods of my life I’ve ever experienced, but that’s another blog post). For about 6 months I was consumed by that process and didn’t think of much but my son and the environment around us. But as I crawled out of that dark place and the people around me continued to motivate me I started excelling at my job again, and really leaning into my evening and weekend side hustle. When the power was cut off in our one bedroom apartment (my son had the room, I had the couch which made having a girlfriend at the time super fun), was probably when I realized there were going to be no handouts for me as a single dad. My parents were loving, my close friends and sister were there for me, but noone had the ability to make my life better. I was not going to inherit a trust fund or be gifted a free place to live or new car. I had already put my past life behind me (the hip hop artist travelling parts of the globe and associating with not-so-kid-friendly friends) and now was migrating into business geek mode.

Every night, I’d put my son to bed. Work out (not enough) for a few minutes and then jump on my computer and start working on my business and knowledge. 2 hours per night minimum, and 4 hours on the weekend (which I still use as my model for operating businesses outside of my 9 to 5). A total of 14 hours a week dedicated to learning, selling, building and creating relationships. I’d use a lunch hour here and there for a meeting (ensuring I was not violating any conflict of interests of course) and connect. The knowledge I was gaining from freelancing in the evening was bettering my day job as well. I was learning new things outside of the scope of my job and bringing it to the table. I was learning how to operate a business, balance a budget, and sell. Over time I started speaking. I could jump on any stage and speak about what I loved. Mentors were coming to me for information, and I was guiding young people in their careers as I continued to age.

I was able to step out of my introvert and battle through imposter syndrome because I had to. Because a few people in my life told me I needed to, and life simply threw lemons at my face until I realized it was on me.

Becoming a single dad moved me away from spending too much time in dive bars and cruising around listening to music. There’s so much more I could unpack here, but when it comes to my career; the fact that I literally was “stuck” at home every night forced me to do something with myself. I guess I am fortunate that I am not the type to sulk, but rather someone who sees the positive, and get to work (my parents definitely are the reason my work ethic is what it is).

Single Dads don’t have some systemic luxuries. I was there. I know it. It doesn’t mean that you were stuck. No matter your adversity, I truly believe my faith has taught me to always know there is a journey on the other side of the mountain that will put you in a better spot. By no means do I mean you deserve that adversity, but I do mean that you deserve the opportunity to come out of it better.